conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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