Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
