If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
