I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
