The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
