Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize