You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
