Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
