Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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