I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
