Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
