Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
