I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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