I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
