Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
