:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
