Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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