dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
