It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
