There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Who died my cat blue again?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
