and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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