Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
