I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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