Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize