He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
