mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i will never coherently bang her
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
