What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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