She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
