I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
