you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how can u be prego again
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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