I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
