Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
