Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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