remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
