He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
