Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
