Your mouth is God's brothel.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
