I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
