is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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