Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
