Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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