wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
