Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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