so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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