the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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