put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
