Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
