A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
