Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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