..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
