he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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