Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
