mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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