Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
