I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She's the barista slut.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
