i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
