does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize