I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
