Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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