Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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