is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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