I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
