if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I could fuck to npr.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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