the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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