I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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