Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
