Ambien. No doubt about it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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