So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
