did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
