I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
