Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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