i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
